Our Almost Fight

Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world. ~George Bernard Shaw

Before I get into the almost fight inside of Kohl's yesterday, let me give a little background on a certain little member of our family.  BRODY, oh my sweet yet challenging son Brody, he can make me smile and sigh at the same time.  Brody's mind works a little different than the average child.  He is very literal, and he takes your word for truth.  Should someone say they are coming to visit him, well they better do it because panic takes over him.  "Maybe" does not exist to him.  It's a yes or a no.  It's either right or it's wrong.  It's black or it's white, and there it absolutely no gray area to him.  There are inappropriate words in the world to say, and he knows not to say them however he takes it to the extreme to become the "Word Police."  He is slightly OCD, and sometimes it is very difficult for him to let something go.  Should something really bother him, he will repeat it over and over, and it can consume him.  It's difficult for me to watch him get so stressed.  Our family has gotten good at defusing situations before they start, and Brody is slowly but surely learning how to deal with the anxiety he gets.  Even though it is a challenge with Brody somedays it's also a blessing.  I love him just the way he is.  He can get consumed in doing nice things for his mommy too.  He has building projects in my honor, and there`are times he is determined to write me the sweetest letters. 
 
Lately he has had many good days.  Since things have been going so well, I'm sad to admit I let my guard down yesterday.  I've spent the last several years constantly watching for and trying to prevent intense situations.  I try to be more relaxed as he is getting older because I can't prevent all bad in the world, and he has to learn how to handle the hard too.  Yesterday was a reminder that although he has come a long way, he still has a long road ahead of him.  I get teary eyed writing about this because it is very personal.  Why do I write about our life adventures?  Because we're not the only ones who deal with this or has challenges.  I want to tell people they are not alone, and if you keep working with your child it does get better! 
 
At Kohl's, I was getting a pair of running shoes.  I had Brody sitting on a bench while I laced the shoes.  He was watching a little girl about his age with her family.  The mom of the girl got frustrated with her and said, "You are so stupid."  Brody is not allowed to use the word stupid plus he did not like the way the mom yelled it.  He jumps up and runs over to the family.  Then he shook his index finger at the mom and said "It is not nice to call her that."  She looks down at him and told him to "SHUT UP!"  This upset Brody even more.  He said, "That word is worse.  You a baaaaaaaaaad girl!"  The lady explodes at this point.  As she is yelling, Brody begins to match her tone.  I'm trying my best to calm Brody down and remove him from the situation as she is threating him.  Let me just say, I'm no fan of anyone threating to hit my child.  I'm a fiesty gal, and it took all my self control not to join in on the yelling.  Shoppers began to gather around us, and no one helps. She is filled with anger, and she will not listen to reason.  Eventually, I get Brody to walk away however he is completely stressed.  For the next hour, he is consumed by the woman and her harsh words.  Even though the girl was his age, he kept calling her baby.  Brody would say over and over, "Moms are not supposed to talk to babies that way." I love his tender heart.
 
It's a hard lesson to learn at five years old, but there are lots of bad parents in the world.  As we talked about it today, Brody said, "I just wanted to rescue the baby."  That's my boy!  I've explained to him that is not ok to yell at adults.  I've replayed this event over and over in my mind.  There was nothing I could have done to prevent it besides never leaving our house (we will continue to keep working with him on this).  Brody sees things as either right or wrong and good or bad. I wished I would have been able to explain, but I guess she would have probably got offended by that too.  I hope as she looks back on it she has some kind of guilt that a five year old boy was able to identify verbal  mistreatment to a child. 
 
The second lesson I tried to get Brody to understand is that you can be right and wrong at the same time.  And no, he cannot process this yet.  Maybe when he is a little older, we'll talk about this again.  Until then, we'll take Mr. Shaw's advice "Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world."

Sweet Home Alabama

 

The pilot gave Brody wings to wear.



Home is a shelter from storms - all sorts of storms. ~William J. Bennett

Brody and I went to Alabama for his Spring Break, and it was quite the adventure.  For me, it's always good to go home.  On Easter morning, we went to the 8:00 service at church, and then we were off to the airport. 

B loved his first plane ride.  The pilots and flight attendants gave him so much wonderful attention.  I was unsure of how Brody would react to flying because he does take medication daily for anxiety.  The hospitality shown to him was a great help.  It's amazing how going out of your way to show kindness can make for a great memory to someone.  Hooray for the Delta Airline folks! 

My mom, Mimi, picked us up at the Birmingham airport.  We went straight to the zoo from there.  Brody is always begging to go to the zoo so this is a huge treat for him.  He will ask me to go the zoo every week.  The kid loves animals.  His favorite is the Komodo Dragon.  The new elephants were great to watch, and they will be adding two more elephants over the summer.  My favorite part was riding on a camel.  It's been on my bucket list since I was six years old.  It's $5.50 per person for a very short ride, but it was worth it to have my goal accomplished.

Mimi and Pop got Brody Mario Kart for Easter.  Brody was delighted!  He got everyone to play with him, even Pop.

I wished we lived closer to my parents because Brody loves seeing them.  Brody will hug his Mimi and say, "I sure do love you my GRANDmommy!"  It touches my heart that he thinks they are so grand like I do.  I just love all the hugs and good food while I'm home. 



Brody helping to make biscuits

 We made lots of fun memories while we were in Alabama, but there were also some disasterous sights that will forever be in my memory as well.  On Wednesday afternoon, many tornados hit my Sweet Home Alabama.  It was horrifying to watch.  My family was very blessed and suffered no damage, but there was so much of my old stomping ground that was destroyed.  There have been 250 people who have died and many who have lost their homes.  The Heart of Dixie has lost much, but in these trails there has been many people who have shown great kindness to their neighbors.  Many ordinary individuals have become heros to those in need of help. 

This morning as I sat inside my nice comfortable church, I thought of those who lost their church and had to meet in parking lots.  I pray for the pastors who preached in these parking lots and then went to preach funerals afterwards.  On hard days such as these, I'm thankful for God's promise in Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  God's grace amazes me how He takes the sin of this world and makes good of it.  Max Lucado said, "Your pain has a purpose. Your problems, struggles, heartaches, and hassles cooperate toward one end—the glory of God."  Alabama has many heartaches today, and I pray as a result many would see the glory of God.  Christains have to opportunity to be His hands and His feet in the weeks to come.  May the lost see His love in action, and may they desire to hear the gospel of the greatest love story...Jesus!

"Here am I! Send me."

A Chorti girl

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”

And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”  Isaiah 6:8

It doesn't take much for me to get really excited.  This morning I was running on the treadmill at the gym listening to my ipod when I all of the sudden I realized I had the biggest smile on my face.  Some days like today, my heart is just bursting to sing praises to God.  God did say to pray without ceasing so I'm sure He doesn't mind me worshiping and praying while I run.  As I prayed, and not just the "please don't let me die during this workout" prayer, I prayed Isaiah 8:6 for God to send me.  Send me to show His love!  Here's where my big smile came from...the next song that played on the ipod was "Send me" by Jeremy Camp.  Wow!  Such a great way for God to say "I'm listening and yes, you will go in my Name."  Right now God sends me out right where I am in our community to share and show His love, but in 93 more days we fly to Honduras to do the same there.

93 more days until I meet the beautiful Chorti people God created.  The Chortí Indians are the desendants of the Maya Indians, and we will be in Copán with them.  Our church has a partnership with the Chorti, and we will send six groups this year to them.  There are Medical Teams, Prayer Walking Teams, Bible Story Telling Teams, and Farming teams.  I've known for a year that this summer I would get to work with the Chorti, but now that it's starting to get closer I'm about to bust at the seams with excitement.  So hearing a song like "Send Me" has me grinning like a possum from ear to ear.

Such a cute little guy

I think I must have looked just as goofy as this possum this morning at the gym, but I'm cool with that.  Better to have a goofy smile than to frown in misery.  I'm thankful to able to sing and pray.
 
Send me, Lord!  Break my heart for what breaks Your heart.  Let me love people like you love them.  Let me be a servant to everyone.  Humble me, break me, and fill me with nothing but You!  Please use me, and I gladly say “Here am I. Send me!”



Adventure of Motherhood

A haircut and lolly pop

"I knew when I met you an adventure was going to happen..."-- A.A. Milne

Five years ago, Brody gave my life the wonderful adventure of motherhood.  It's been an amazing adventure, and it's just going to get better.  I have loved being a stay at home mom, and my heart breaks for the women who do not have the opportunity to stay at home with their children.  I couldn't imagine missing all the discovery moments that happen daily.  And I don't think I could bear missing out on all the smiles and laughs!  Yes, there are hard days and days it's all I can do not to pull out my hair, but these are the days it's most important for me to be in Brody's life.  God gave me the responsibility to shepherd Brody's heart, and I don't take that responsibility lightly.  So it's good to be in all of Brody's days.
 
But now, our adventure is about to have a change of scenery.  We have registered Brody for kindergarten. Oh MY!  I'm filled with so many different kinds of emotions.  I'm excited for him to have new experiences.  I'm scared for him because I know he is a little different.  I'm fearful I have not prepared him enough for all that awaits him next year.  I'm grateful he has the physical ability to go to school.  And I'm sad I will be all alone during the day come fall.  It's the sad part that weighs on me the most.  I know I won't be alone forever because we will have a sweet Indian Princess or Prince who will join us to be a part of our family one day.  I will have to patient and relaxed for the changes to come.  This adventure is going to continue to be great.  We'll just have to keep moving forward through all the suprises and obstacles that come our way.  Afterall, it wouldn't be much of an adventure if everything stayed the same.

Building and Destroying and Building again

B gets more like me everyday.  Sunday afternoon at Books-A-Million, he sits down and says "Coffee and a book!  This is good!"

You can teach a student a lesson for a day; but if you can teach him to learn by creating curiosity, he will continue the learning process as long as he lives.

~Clay P. Bedford

Brody has had some destroying moments lately.  He finds enjoyment by tearing paper in shreds.  I however, do not like this.  We have had several conversations on how we are to be builders not destroyers.  I've explained that as builders we can be creative, encouragers, and be known as people who make things beautiful.  We will talk for several minutes, and it has ended every time with Brody saying, "No thanks, I destroy."

*SIGH*  

I know this is a temporary phase, and it will pass as we continue to discipline and explain that destroying things is not an acceptable behavior.  I've been really bothered by it because I felt like it was an issue of the heart until this morning.  The first thing Brody said when we got into the car was "You a builder, and I'm a destroyer."  Once again, *SIGH*!  I put my head on the stirring wheel not wanting to have this conversation again.  I mentally started trying to think of a new way to talk about this.  So I instead of saying "we cannot destroy things," I asked him why he was a destroyer.  He looked at me with his sweet face and said, "I destroy things cause I build new things with em."  Ok.  I understand now.  It is still not good to destroy some things, but at least I understand Brody's thought process better.

The more I've thought about what Brody said this morning, the more profound it has become to me.  He was really right by sometimes we must destroy something and make it new.  The Holy Spirit brought to my mind


"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" 2 Cor. 5:17
"Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it."  Matt. 16:24-25

It has been good for God to destroy my old sinful self and become a new creation by salvation through my Lord Jesus.  What a joy destroying and losing my sinful self has been!  Through my child's curiosity, creativeness, and his ability to think outside of the box, I became so thankful for my salvation again today.  It makes Easter coming up even more exciting.  I'm glad God uses my child teach me and remind me of His goodness.

Brody got out his Bible the other day at church and began to teach from it.  This makes me smile!

He wrote me a note yesterday saying, "I love mom."

Vegetable Chips- Sweet Potato, Taro, Squash, Carrot, Green Beans, Non-hydrogenated canola oil, Sea salt, Dextrin

Speaking of building, we are trying to build up a big healthy boy!  Ryan found these tasty vegetable chips at the organic market.  They are super yummy and healthy.  This is one way to get Brody to eat his vegetables.  You know I love to share about things I find that are really good.

As we are building our family through adoption, I've been blogging about it.  Last week I posted why we are adopting and why we are adopting from India.  Check it out at
http://homefromindia.blogspot.com/

So let's build and destroy and build again.  Maybe Brody will be a mosaic artist or demolition man or a teacher of God's word when he grows up. 

Spring

Brody and Cade "hunting" butterflies

The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another.  The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month.  ~Henry Van Dyke

The past few days have been so pleasant.  We have really enjoyed being outside.  Brody got several explorer items for his birthday, and he has had the best time using them.  I giggled this morning as Brody with his net and Cade with his gun "hunted" butterflies.  Youth is so cute and sweet.  The adventures Brody comes up with amazes me.  He has such a wonderful imagination! 

The boys taking a Popsicle break.

A new kind of transportation! 

One of my favorite parts of spring is the warm sun shining down on me and a good book.  The difference between Brody and me is that I would rather read about an adventure.  I read "Water for Elephants" this week.  It's a great story that takes place during the Depression at a circus.  I became emotionally connected to the 93 year old man telling his story after just a few pages.   It's brilliantly written with two great seasons of life with the man coming of age and coming to the end of his age.  I loved it!

Celebrating Life Part 2

Let me just say how fun it is to hold your child and say "You born right now this time ____ years ago."

I loved hugging Brody this morning telling him about his birthday five years ago.  My sweet little 2 lb. wonder has brought us so much joy.  It's been a delight thinking about how far God has brought Brody.  We are a blessed family indeed.  Many would not call us blessed, but I think it's all in the perspective we have.  While having a baby in the NICU for many weeks is hard, it's also very neat to watch a life so tiny grow.  Not many moms can say they watch their baby's eyelashes and nails grow.  He only had a 40% chance of surviving, and we watched him triumph over the odds.  His "strong will" came out on day one.  

I've been saying it all week, "It's good to be able to celebrate life!"  None of us are guaranteed tomorrow so we must be thankful for today, for this year, for these five years. 

It's been a more quiet celebration today due to Brody being sick and having to go to the doctor.  He has a wheezy Bronchitis.  Even the doctor commented how no one should be sick on their birthday.  It was a blessing Ryan's family came to North Carolina last week, and we got to do a small party for Brody last Saturday.  He had a How to Train Your Dragon party.

As a part of the celebration, here are some of my favorite Brody pictures.  I have so many that it's really hard to pick a few out for the blog.

It takes a lot of energy to keep body temperature.  There are ladies who crochet tiny hats so babies can be held for a few minutes by their family without burning all their calories.  This is an awesome ministry.

 

Brody's first pair of sunglasses.  We kept his giggly bear from Aunt Allison in his bed.

Pacifiers are difficult when they are as big as your face is.

"Praise the Lord!"  First time to wear clothes at six weeks old.

Brody's first night home.  I was so scared to have a 4 lb. 10 oz. baby at home.

My kids first picture together.  Basket from Stephanie and Hunter.

Since the time he could stand, Brody has loved the drums.

Three years old- the year of the dinosaur

Corky, Brody, and me

1st day of 4 yr. old preschool

Brody asked for "spiky" hair

Christmas Eve service- B's first time to sit in big church

For months, Brody asked for an aircraft carrier boat for Christmas

I asked Brody to draw a picture of his family.  He drew our house with a mailbox and tree.  He drew Ryan, me, himself, and Maggie.  Then he drew two babies holding hands that are going to be his brothers one day.  Brody is conceived we are adopting twins from India.  He says, "I love them sooooooo much!"  I hope he gets his wish.

Brody's best friends

Just a glimpse of the smile I have loved for the past five years.  Brody is creative, and he is a great problem solver.  He fills our home with the wonderful sound of laughter.  Brody keeps us on our toes because he is always getting into something, and I must say, he entertains us well.