Saturday, January 7, 2012

A New Year

We spend January 1st walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential. ~Ellen Goodman

While chatting with my mom this morning, I could think of nothing but potential for 2012.  That's quite the opposite from last year.  2011 was a year of dread.  Our family rang in the New Year with having to start my dad on hospice.   Knowing it would be the year we would lose him felt like a dark cloud constantly hovering over us.  I held my breathe when the phone would ring.  Every time I would visit and then have to leave, I was saying "goodbye."  There were never enough words or time to completely express how I felt in a "goodbye." 

Then there was the dread of an empty house during the day.  I love being a mom, and I find great joy in having kids around.  With Brody starting kindergarten and the adoption process being at a stand still, I really dreaded a quiet house.  No laughter, words, singing, toys falling, or patter of little feet running around to be heard all day.  Silence is not golden to means being alone.  Being alone was not in my plan of having a big family. 

Don't get me wrong, there were good parts of 2011.  Moments I will always treasure in my memory.  But I was glad to see it end!  Sometimes you can't change days that will hold sadness....all you can do is wait for new days.

So here's to new days!  Days that hold the possibility of having another child.  Days that promise new opportunities to tell and show God's love.  Days I hug my family and tell them how blessed we are to have each other.  Days to dance instead of dread.  Days where anything could happen!  It is a year that has a lot of potential.  Oh how I'm looking forward to sharing some good stories this year...hopefully sharing some good news soon!