"Here am I! Send me."

A Chorti girl

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”

And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”  Isaiah 6:8

It doesn't take much for me to get really excited.  This morning I was running on the treadmill at the gym listening to my ipod when I all of the sudden I realized I had the biggest smile on my face.  Some days like today, my heart is just bursting to sing praises to God.  God did say to pray without ceasing so I'm sure He doesn't mind me worshiping and praying while I run.  As I prayed, and not just the "please don't let me die during this workout" prayer, I prayed Isaiah 8:6 for God to send me.  Send me to show His love!  Here's where my big smile came from...the next song that played on the ipod was "Send me" by Jeremy Camp.  Wow!  Such a great way for God to say "I'm listening and yes, you will go in my Name."  Right now God sends me out right where I am in our community to share and show His love, but in 93 more days we fly to Honduras to do the same there.

93 more days until I meet the beautiful Chorti people God created.  The Chortí Indians are the desendants of the Maya Indians, and we will be in Copán with them.  Our church has a partnership with the Chorti, and we will send six groups this year to them.  There are Medical Teams, Prayer Walking Teams, Bible Story Telling Teams, and Farming teams.  I've known for a year that this summer I would get to work with the Chorti, but now that it's starting to get closer I'm about to bust at the seams with excitement.  So hearing a song like "Send Me" has me grinning like a possum from ear to ear.

Such a cute little guy

I think I must have looked just as goofy as this possum this morning at the gym, but I'm cool with that.  Better to have a goofy smile than to frown in misery.  I'm thankful to able to sing and pray.
 
Send me, Lord!  Break my heart for what breaks Your heart.  Let me love people like you love them.  Let me be a servant to everyone.  Humble me, break me, and fill me with nothing but You!  Please use me, and I gladly say “Here am I. Send me!”



Adventure of Motherhood

A haircut and lolly pop

"I knew when I met you an adventure was going to happen..."-- A.A. Milne

Five years ago, Brody gave my life the wonderful adventure of motherhood.  It's been an amazing adventure, and it's just going to get better.  I have loved being a stay at home mom, and my heart breaks for the women who do not have the opportunity to stay at home with their children.  I couldn't imagine missing all the discovery moments that happen daily.  And I don't think I could bear missing out on all the smiles and laughs!  Yes, there are hard days and days it's all I can do not to pull out my hair, but these are the days it's most important for me to be in Brody's life.  God gave me the responsibility to shepherd Brody's heart, and I don't take that responsibility lightly.  So it's good to be in all of Brody's days.
 
But now, our adventure is about to have a change of scenery.  We have registered Brody for kindergarten. Oh MY!  I'm filled with so many different kinds of emotions.  I'm excited for him to have new experiences.  I'm scared for him because I know he is a little different.  I'm fearful I have not prepared him enough for all that awaits him next year.  I'm grateful he has the physical ability to go to school.  And I'm sad I will be all alone during the day come fall.  It's the sad part that weighs on me the most.  I know I won't be alone forever because we will have a sweet Indian Princess or Prince who will join us to be a part of our family one day.  I will have to patient and relaxed for the changes to come.  This adventure is going to continue to be great.  We'll just have to keep moving forward through all the suprises and obstacles that come our way.  Afterall, it wouldn't be much of an adventure if everything stayed the same.

Building and Destroying and Building again

B gets more like me everyday.  Sunday afternoon at Books-A-Million, he sits down and says "Coffee and a book!  This is good!"

You can teach a student a lesson for a day; but if you can teach him to learn by creating curiosity, he will continue the learning process as long as he lives.

~Clay P. Bedford

Brody has had some destroying moments lately.  He finds enjoyment by tearing paper in shreds.  I however, do not like this.  We have had several conversations on how we are to be builders not destroyers.  I've explained that as builders we can be creative, encouragers, and be known as people who make things beautiful.  We will talk for several minutes, and it has ended every time with Brody saying, "No thanks, I destroy."

*SIGH*  

I know this is a temporary phase, and it will pass as we continue to discipline and explain that destroying things is not an acceptable behavior.  I've been really bothered by it because I felt like it was an issue of the heart until this morning.  The first thing Brody said when we got into the car was "You a builder, and I'm a destroyer."  Once again, *SIGH*!  I put my head on the stirring wheel not wanting to have this conversation again.  I mentally started trying to think of a new way to talk about this.  So I instead of saying "we cannot destroy things," I asked him why he was a destroyer.  He looked at me with his sweet face and said, "I destroy things cause I build new things with em."  Ok.  I understand now.  It is still not good to destroy some things, but at least I understand Brody's thought process better.

The more I've thought about what Brody said this morning, the more profound it has become to me.  He was really right by sometimes we must destroy something and make it new.  The Holy Spirit brought to my mind


"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" 2 Cor. 5:17
"Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it."  Matt. 16:24-25

It has been good for God to destroy my old sinful self and become a new creation by salvation through my Lord Jesus.  What a joy destroying and losing my sinful self has been!  Through my child's curiosity, creativeness, and his ability to think outside of the box, I became so thankful for my salvation again today.  It makes Easter coming up even more exciting.  I'm glad God uses my child teach me and remind me of His goodness.

Brody got out his Bible the other day at church and began to teach from it.  This makes me smile!

He wrote me a note yesterday saying, "I love mom."

Vegetable Chips- Sweet Potato, Taro, Squash, Carrot, Green Beans, Non-hydrogenated canola oil, Sea salt, Dextrin

Speaking of building, we are trying to build up a big healthy boy!  Ryan found these tasty vegetable chips at the organic market.  They are super yummy and healthy.  This is one way to get Brody to eat his vegetables.  You know I love to share about things I find that are really good.

As we are building our family through adoption, I've been blogging about it.  Last week I posted why we are adopting and why we are adopting from India.  Check it out at
http://homefromindia.blogspot.com/

So let's build and destroy and build again.  Maybe Brody will be a mosaic artist or demolition man or a teacher of God's word when he grows up. 

Spring

Brody and Cade "hunting" butterflies

The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another.  The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month.  ~Henry Van Dyke

The past few days have been so pleasant.  We have really enjoyed being outside.  Brody got several explorer items for his birthday, and he has had the best time using them.  I giggled this morning as Brody with his net and Cade with his gun "hunted" butterflies.  Youth is so cute and sweet.  The adventures Brody comes up with amazes me.  He has such a wonderful imagination! 

The boys taking a Popsicle break.

A new kind of transportation! 

One of my favorite parts of spring is the warm sun shining down on me and a good book.  The difference between Brody and me is that I would rather read about an adventure.  I read "Water for Elephants" this week.  It's a great story that takes place during the Depression at a circus.  I became emotionally connected to the 93 year old man telling his story after just a few pages.   It's brilliantly written with two great seasons of life with the man coming of age and coming to the end of his age.  I loved it!

Celebrating Life Part 2

Let me just say how fun it is to hold your child and say "You born right now this time ____ years ago."

I loved hugging Brody this morning telling him about his birthday five years ago.  My sweet little 2 lb. wonder has brought us so much joy.  It's been a delight thinking about how far God has brought Brody.  We are a blessed family indeed.  Many would not call us blessed, but I think it's all in the perspective we have.  While having a baby in the NICU for many weeks is hard, it's also very neat to watch a life so tiny grow.  Not many moms can say they watch their baby's eyelashes and nails grow.  He only had a 40% chance of surviving, and we watched him triumph over the odds.  His "strong will" came out on day one.  

I've been saying it all week, "It's good to be able to celebrate life!"  None of us are guaranteed tomorrow so we must be thankful for today, for this year, for these five years. 

It's been a more quiet celebration today due to Brody being sick and having to go to the doctor.  He has a wheezy Bronchitis.  Even the doctor commented how no one should be sick on their birthday.  It was a blessing Ryan's family came to North Carolina last week, and we got to do a small party for Brody last Saturday.  He had a How to Train Your Dragon party.

As a part of the celebration, here are some of my favorite Brody pictures.  I have so many that it's really hard to pick a few out for the blog.

It takes a lot of energy to keep body temperature.  There are ladies who crochet tiny hats so babies can be held for a few minutes by their family without burning all their calories.  This is an awesome ministry.

 

Brody's first pair of sunglasses.  We kept his giggly bear from Aunt Allison in his bed.

Pacifiers are difficult when they are as big as your face is.

"Praise the Lord!"  First time to wear clothes at six weeks old.

Brody's first night home.  I was so scared to have a 4 lb. 10 oz. baby at home.

My kids first picture together.  Basket from Stephanie and Hunter.

Since the time he could stand, Brody has loved the drums.

Three years old- the year of the dinosaur

Corky, Brody, and me

1st day of 4 yr. old preschool

Brody asked for "spiky" hair

Christmas Eve service- B's first time to sit in big church

For months, Brody asked for an aircraft carrier boat for Christmas

I asked Brody to draw a picture of his family.  He drew our house with a mailbox and tree.  He drew Ryan, me, himself, and Maggie.  Then he drew two babies holding hands that are going to be his brothers one day.  Brody is conceived we are adopting twins from India.  He says, "I love them sooooooo much!"  I hope he gets his wish.

Brody's best friends

Just a glimpse of the smile I have loved for the past five years.  Brody is creative, and he is a great problem solver.  He fills our home with the wonderful sound of laughter.  Brody keeps us on our toes because he is always getting into something, and I must say, he entertains us well.