My Gift Is NOT...

God has blessed me with several gifts/talents.  I have the gift of hospitality.  It's fun to welcome people into my home.  I'm able to see and sense the needs of others.  God created me with the love of talking with people.  I don't meet a stranger, and I hate sitting in a quiet room. 

What I'm not so good at is public speaking.  It's so easy for me to sit around a table and chat it up with friends. But put me in a room with lots of people, and I feel nervous.  I have this desire to get to know all the people behind the faces staring at me.  I had words all planned out to say, and I've practiced those words over and over.  Then when I have all those faces looking at me, I find my mind going blank.  There will be a tiny moment of silence.  Mind my starts feeling the need to sing in that silence like ***la la la I forgoooot what I was gonna sayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.**  That mind struggle seems to create more awkward silence.  It's just an internal struggle!  I really do want to communicate my topic well....I really do.  It just does not happen.

Tonight did not go the way I had planned.  As I'm typing right now, I can think of things I was suppose to say, and I can think of things I wish I had left out while rambling.  It could have been worse, but it could have been better too. No more whining over "spilled words."

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

What can I find positive out of my not so good speaking night?

* First humility. 

* I did learn some stuff while preparing.

* It's ok, to not be great at something.  I'm at peace that I will probably never speak before thousands of people. 

* My fabulous plan of getting my son to sleep on a couch in the lobby while I was speaking worked out perfectly (Have no fear, there were friends around to watch him sleep.  It just hard to get kids to fall asleep in different places sometimes)

* I will work on finding some more ways to practice speaking if I ever get asked to speak again (the asking thing is probably not very likely). 

* I can laugh at myself.  I find it "ok" to giggle at my awkwardness when I look back at the situation. 


* My makeup looked good tonight.  At least my face and words were not both flawed. 


* I can pray.  Lord, the over all result was not great, but please let parts stick with those girls.  Your Word is always amazing.   




Blogging always makes me feel better.  I have to deal with today so I do not carry over my burdens into tomorrow.  My favorite part in "Anne of Green Gables"  is when the teacher reminds Anne of tomorrow is a new day...leave no mistakes in it.  I can go to sleep now that I wrote how I feel.